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11:34 a.m. | March 19, 2002
i haven't written about dreams in a long time i had more ideas for writing last night but i completely forgot what they were. however, i had the weirdest dreams i've had in awhile, which is saying a lot. my dreams are always weird. i usually win the "whose dreams are weirder" comparison with people. i don't know if this is a good thing. i don't even know if i can describe them. vivid but elusive and kind of all over the place. i was in the ocean in one of them trying to swim for shore, but every time i looked up or expected to feel sand i realized that i hadn't gotten any closer. it was strange because i fully expected to (i can narrate my own dreams and my narrator was waiting for this to happen. usually whatever the narrator wants it gets). then someone from deep in the water grabbed my hand and started to drag me under. i thought "hey wait, this has never happened before" and the person let go and i surfaced. dream changed. i dreamt about james again. it was this weird situation where my ex-fianc� was just leaving. i found out that my sister had slept with him. (she never did and never would in the waking world). she also said that she had slept with james. i was so angry, it was blind rage really. i was screaming and screaming at her and at my ex that they could do this. james denied sleeping with my sister and i believed him over her. i don't know why, but in the dream it was the truth. i was so angry with her i could have killed her. i don't know why i dreamt this. i have dreams like this about my mother and my father (my father rarely though) as well. like i have a real rage against my family to get out or something. i don't know why, my sister is my best friend. though i'm sure i have issues. maybe my mind understands things that my heart (dreaming mind?) doesn't. i dreamt way way more, like this guy at the mall who was stalking me and trying to abuse me. i have no idea what that was about. in any case, i think my dreams always mean something, but i'm not sure what. psychologically we don't even know why we dream or what purpose they serve. i know mine must mean something about me because they are vivid and specific. i have themes that show up in most dreams, hundreds of them really, but i always recognize them. the same sort of themes in different situations that show up and have been showing up for years. i keep saying i'll make a list of them and i really should. i'll post it here one day. on another totally unrelated note, i have this urge to suck on something. hmmm, i wonder... volunteers? I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building. We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know.
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This is my blogchalk:
Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.