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8:48 p.m. | Sunday, Apr. 27, 2003
after the weekend update I'm writing my entry in notepad which I'm much more amiable to since I changed the font to something I actually like. It's amazing how much visual aesthetics affect what I do. Anyway I'm writing in notepad because diaryland seems to have gone pffft. Morrison spent Friday until Sunday with me. It was really great and I was smiling the whole time. That's unheard of for me, I hardly ever smile. Also, I was able to actually make decisions about food and things. We watched DVDs and hung out, didn't even do any of the things we had planned in case we got bored together. The only problem with him being over more than one night is that he doesn't sleep when he's here. It means he's pretty tired after the first night here and this weekend napping was almost out of the question with people vacuuming or going in and out all the time. The cats were very happy to see him though. I was trying to think of other ways I could raise money for medical things that I need. I don't want to start out-right begging but some extra money for these things would be nice. So far the list of things it would great to get some extra money for is this: L-Alanine $738 (it's an amino acid and is experimental treatment, however it's supposed to be good for me), Respirator Battery $153, Respirator Backpack $290, Light Therapy Lamp $300. That's about it so far. I actually haven't had a donation since January, which is why I'm trying to think of other ways to draw attention to the fact that I need money without using a tin cup and annoying people. I spent the money that was donated already ($140 Canadian) on summer clothes on E-bay. I almost felt guilty about that, but I was thinking that if I don't get any more money that one hundred and forty dollars wouldn't make a dint in the other things anyway. Besides that I need clothes, I don't' remember the last time I actually went out and bought clothes. I did get pants and a nightgown the last time I went shopping so I guess I'm realizing that I don't have much left that is in good condition or that will fit. Maybe people will feel more generous in the summer. I want to start writing about events in my life that I tend to tell people about eventually or are very vivid in my memory. There are a few stories about when I was living with my ex-fiance and one in particular that I wanted to tell from when my brother died. I think it would be good to get off my chest. Maybe if I get them down in writing they won't occupy my mind so much. I know that I think about the past too much. It could be because I don't think I have much of a future. This week I plan to get out to the university and apply, as well as, visit the disabilities office for students. It costs $50 just to apply now and tuition has gone up considerably since the last time I was in school. I am hoping that I can get funding for my schooling because otherwise I won't be going. I should call my shrink this week as well, but honestly I just don't feel like seeing her. I am a bit sad that I'm short a volunteer. You don't know what you've got til it's gone, ha. A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping. Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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This is my blogchalk:
Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.