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12:14 p.m. | Thursday, May. 01, 2003
*muttering obsenities all the way* My mom wouldn't let me sleep in this morning and I was so tired. She said if I slept in it would screw up my sleep cycle. I'm not sure what that means because I'm on a schedule it's hard to deviate from because of home care, not to mention I sleep in on a lot of Thursday mornings. This is why I don't tell her things that I'm doing (example: wrong to tell mom about trying to go off sleeping pills, of course i didn't realized that until later). I realize it's also why I don't want to start exercising. I need her help to use the exercise bike thingy I have (it's especially made for people in wheelchairs). Whenever I start to do something she thinks is good for me she starts to be excited and then push me towards it like there is a monster behind us and if we don't get it right and do it and hurry dammit IT WILL GET US. For fuck sake, I do have some judgment of my own and I don't need her to hurl me towards a goal in a catapult. I might want to ease into things, feel my way around type of deal. I wanted to start on the exercise thing today but I don't know if I'm going to feel up to it now and there is no sleeping in tomorrow because that's shower day and I do know what I'm doing with my life some of the time. Lay off, mom.
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This is my blogchalk:
Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.