9:40 p.m. | Thursday, Feb. 19, 2004
fuck I've been feeling worse and worse lately. Totally wigged out. I felt ok yesterday after coming back from the dentist, even though she recommended I get a toothbrush that costs $90, which I don't have and neither do my parents. Since dad has started working half time so he can take classes and do his own business things have been very tight money-wise. I feel like I might pass out and throw up and freak out all at the same time. I'm thinking about cutting myself for the first time in ages. I don't have anyone to talk to even to bring me down. A guy I'd been friends with for four years ended the friendship yesterday for no reason that I can discern. Selling on Ebay has been going better, I think. I'm going to give myself an ulcer worrying that I'm wasting my parents money on this and that I won't sell enough to even just pay them back for the products I bought. I don't know how I'm going to do school, but it would seem ridiculous to quit now with only about a month left. Essays and finals are scaring the hell out of me though. I need a rest. I can't talk to my mom she is as bad off as I am. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. I don't know what to do anymore.
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Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.