12:02 p.m. | Sunday, Aug. 08, 2004 Life is such a Joy Those that predict the weather lie! Yes they do. Either that or they guess. Badly. So I was thinking last night, from what I can tell of men that I speak to online, they don't want a woman. No what they want is a pussy. A vagina, a cunt, something to fuck. They don't care about personality, sometimes not even appearance. They could have a just body and be happy. Therefore, who you are is unimportant. I find this disheartening, since when I'm looking for someone to spend time with, who they are in the most important. Curiosity in who I am causes me to be curious about them. Interest is all. As a side note, I find it severely, painfully ironic one of the only people I'd be willing to sleep with won't sleep with me because he cares about me too much. My life is a series of painful ironies. Joy. Do days go by and you forget to notice? Yeah me too. I don't think that a person who is an adult can die without physical affection. I think maybe they get emotionally fucked up though. Babies sometimes die for no reason. It's called failure to thrive and alot of times these are babies that don't get any affection. Or they grow up to be emotionally fucked up... There are programs where you can go in and hold babies in the hospital that don't have anyone else. The point of all that is, I don't remember the last time that I felt I was getting physical affection regularly, if at all. I got alot of hugs at the reunion, but I'd count less than half of them in that category. When you don't get hugs, touches, kisses, someone touching your back in affection, ruffling your hair, etc you forget how to feel it at all. Especially because I have people helping me all the time to get dressed, washed, and all that fun stuff. I don't feel that touching. If someone were to start giving me regular physical affection it would take me awhile to tune in and feel it. I always notice that when I start up a relationship with a guy that involves physical intimacy. I have to remember to feel. I think that sounds pretty emotionally fucked up, don't you? Previous | Next

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Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.