9:58 p.m. | Tuesday, Sept. 14, 2004

confused2

I'm watching episodes of my so called life lately and it's taking me back to the time when they were first on and my sister and I watched them obssessively. it was a great show. but i feel like i'm in the same place i was then. i'm living at home... i'm lonely and confused and depressed. i'm not in school, i don't have a job or a boyfriend. i spend all my time on the computer in some form or another. i feel lost and alone and maybe i haven't grown up at all and everything i've experienced was all for nothing or that i didn't learn anything or gain anything. or that i'm not going anywhere...

The enzyme thing is like my only hope and I can't see anything else before it or after it. Things that i thought i could always do like eating and playing on the computer and reading and even (stupidly enough or not, I don't know) masturbating are getting more difficult all the time and it scares me to death. i should feel so excited about the enzyme but i'm so scared and sad and i don't know what to do.

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Female/26-30. Lives in Canada/Saskatchewan/Saskatoon/, speaks English and  . Spends 60% of daytime online. Uses a Fast (128k-512k) connection. And likes Reading.
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Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.