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1:16 p.m. | October 13, 2001
yeah well, i'm mad massages make me feel weird. i'm getting them for pain in my lower back. as well as a chiropratic treatments and reflexology. all this touching. but the massage is the wierdest i think because i've only had massages from people that i really cared about and really cared about me. so it feels odd having someone who's basically a stranger do it. it makes me feel confused. i don't like that. however, my back feels better from them so i will have to continue. also, i've figured out i'm very angry at my ex-fiance. when he left, i had to go into the hospital cause he was my caregiver. the hospital was supposed to be a short wait until i went into a home. turned out to be 13 months and then my mom quit her job so i could move home. there is more to the story but that isn't the point here. the point is i'm angry at my fiance for leaving. he left because he wanted to go back to the states and go to school and live a better life than he figured he could get here. well bullshit! he's right now unemployed and living with some chick. he has no plans to go back to school, and he's going from one crap job to the next. you know, he could have done that here. course he would have been married to me, and he would have had to still help take care of me. which maybe that's really why he left. who knows. i'm just mad though. plus, he's living with a girl! yes it's been a year and a half but still! he knew the girl like a month before he moved in with her. now i'm babbling. i am angry though and upset. i hate feeling this way. i want us both to be able to get on with our lives and forget. *sigh* not forget, just maybe less pain. i know he must not be feeling too much if he's got that chicky to sleep next too. bastard.
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This is my blogchalk:
Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.