|
2:48 p.m. | May 06, 2002
looking for a rock to crawl under and pull the darkness over my head Today is not a good day, I just feel like screaming and screaming until it ends. I called my doctor last week Tuesday and I still haven't heard from her. I need more pills as the ones the pharmacist lent me have run out again, plus I need to talk to her about sleeping pills and I need my depo shot before the end of this week. Gah! I don't want to call her again. The physiotherapist wants me to do all the arm stuff alone now. Well I still need someone to set up the stuff for me. Geez, already they are putting stuff off on my family. I don't want to tell mom about it. Screaming AND crying. Yes that feels about right. Course I won't do it, people would worry. I took an ativan, so I hope the feeling will go away. Dammit, I just want to be left alone and I have all this shit to do this week. Everyday there is something. Bloody fucking hell. I want to quit and sleep until people can help me in a reasonable way. Being on the enzyme would make physiotherapy seem worthwhile. Of course now that I�ve done it I have to keep doing it so I don't loose the very little that I�ve gained. I honestly don't think that staying at parkridge was worth it. People say they notice I�m stronger, but I don't really notice and right now I could give a fuck. I�m so pissed about this business of having to do the arm exercises on my own now. Probably doesn't help that I woke up in a severely bad mood and with a headache. I did take something for the headache, but I still have all the feeling of a headache without the pain. I don't know if that makes sense. Basically I feel fucked up. Make them stop. Do more, do better, and strive. Fuck off; what I�m doing already is driving me crazy. It doesn't help that my eyebrows seem to have dandruff today and my hair has gone totally spastic. "It�s the little things that pull you under." REM Book: Destiny of Souls by Christopher Rice (yes it's Anne Rice's son)
|
|
|
This is my blogchalk:
Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.