5:42 p.m. | Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2004 fucking fuckers I am at my wits end. Today we got a call telling us that I was not approved for individualized funding for independent living. This basically means that the government refused to pay for me to hire my own caregivers, which might have led me to have my own place at some point. It also means that my mom is still going to be my primary caregiver. Today dad told me that she doesn't want to take care of me anymore. I knew that already, her depression is just getting worse and worse. I asked dad what she wanted to do, does she want to just put me into Parkridge. He said he didn't know. I told him I have to quit school if I end up there. There is no way I could do school from there. I couldn't do much of anything from there. Except die. Yeah, so my mom is really upset about this and I guess I am too, though I'm completely unsurprised. Mom has started a new thing, she ignores me if I call her near the time that homecare is going to show up. This is really irritating. It's also hard to prove because she could say she just didn't hear me. I don't believe that for a second, plus once she told the home health aid to ask what I wanted when she came downstairs. The situation we are in is getting mighty shitty. I don't know if Darwin is getting any better from his bladder infection. If things don't improve and the vet recommends something like medication for life then he will have to be put down. I hate to even think about it. He is supposed to go back to the vet this week, I don't know if it will happen or not. Things around this house are very unstable even though my dad is home this week. I'm just getting fucking tired of it all. Home care, government refusals, student loans, and social services all wear you down until you want to quit. I got yet another new caseworker for social services this month. It's my fourth since August. I have no idea what the fuck they are doing down there. Previous | Next

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Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.