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2:38 p.m. | Friday, Jul. 23, 2004
are you excited? People keep asking me how I feel about the enzyme thing, how I feel that I got picked, etc... They ask if I'm excited. The answer of course is yes, but it is almost the wrong question. I'm anxious about it. I was excited and happy about it at first, but that quickly gave way to anxiety. I honestly try not to think about it. I'm not anxious in the way you look forward to your birthday or Christmas, or the fun party you get to go to this summer. I'm anxious in the oh my god, I hope nothing happens to screw this up, kind of way. Anxious in the way that, I hope I don't die before this is effective. Anxious about how effective it will be, anxious about what changes I may have to make when I get a permanent IV cathedar in my chest. Anxious about people hovering over me asking if I feel it's working every five minutes after I get the first treatment. It's all about anxiety right now. I know I will be happy about it when it starts to happen, when I start to feel better and when I can barage the doctor with about a million questions at a time. Until it happens, I'm anxious, very very anxious. Send soothing thoughts.
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This is my blogchalk:
Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.