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9:23 p.m. | March 22, 2002
rant conversation in chat sometimes sparks writing ideas. not all of them good. i feel so unattractive most of the time and if i do feel good about how i look, there is more to me than my face. who would want a girl in a wheelchair with a vent? who would want a girl with a round belly and a slightly crooked back? who wants a girl who has problems with depression and a scar on her abdomen 4 inches long? who wants a girl that sleeps with plastic attachments and needs electricity wherever she goes? nobody wants to see me, when they see what i have with me. i'm tired of meeting people and talking about myself and finding out they suck ass and will screw me over. i'm tried of meeting creeps with the iq of 12 and all they want to know is when they get a blow job. i'm tired of people thinking i'm stupid and don't want to take on the "responsibility" or "trouble" to be close to me, to take me out anywhere, or even to talk to me. (i have a fine if quiet voice btw). most of the time i feel fat (i gained weight when i had to start using a wheelchair, about 20 lbs or so) and ugly. people stare at me and i always know they are looking because i'm different. no matter how pretty i would ever be nobody would look for any other reason. men on the internet think i'm wonderful, people in real life view me as freakish.
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This is my blogchalk:
Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.