|
2:34 p.m. | May 20, 2002
where i correct myself just in case i need correcting I don't know if it did, but just in case that my entry yesterday made Morrison seem at all like the bad guy in this thing I should correct myself. First of all, getting involved with him was all my choice. I knew the conditions in the first place, and I knew that I would probably end up feeling more for him than he would for me. I had no idea that things would last this long but that's another story altogether. Another point is that the boyfriend/girlfriend thing probably wouldn't have come up except my mom insists on calling him that. He isn't my boyfriend, I know this, and pretty much am fine with this. Under my criteria he would probably be my boyfriend but under his he isn't so I�ll respect that. We are good friends, get along really well and have fun together. No need to stick a title on it. Besides, I don't think I�m ready for any sort of serious relationship at the moment. Mentally I�m kinda fucked up and I want to be more settled and possibly not living at my parents' place before I get into anything serious. Not to mention some facts that Morrison pointed out about me possibly getting enzyme therapy soon and how that might change me, plus I may have to leave the country for 3 months in order to participate in an enzyme trial. Not to mention the fact that I couldn't move in with anyone at this point and marrying someone would just make me their burden. I don't want to do that. So yeah, sometimes I want more than I have but I don't think that more would necessarily be a great idea at this point. Don�t get me wrong, I wouldn't turn down more, but it's not happening so I�m just going with it. I think I�m feeling better today than I was yesterday. I�m less tired because I slept in, I�m not hungry because I just ate and I had a pretty good weekend to look back on. I still hate the things I hate (physio, home care), but I�m probably in a better mood to deal with them. Speaking of hating things, that new lift thing that was supposed to come didn't arrive and I�m not sure what the hell is going on with that. I think they tried to deliver it at one point but they left before we could get to answer the damn door. Stupid people. Astralfrog showed up in chat last night! It was so cool, I missed him a heck of a lot. He�s such a great person and I just wanted to pour out my heart to him. Of course, neither of us had time for that. I had home care arriving shortly and I�m sure he was bombarded with people talking to him anyway. He says he'll be around more and get msn working so I can talk to him. I can't wait. Book: The Diary of Ellen Rimbauer: My Life at Rose Red (I�m not sure who the author is, it says edited by someone but I don't know if that means that this book is supposed to be real or that its another blair witch thing where they want you to think it's real but it isn't)
|
|
|
This is my blogchalk:
Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.