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11:46 a.m. | Wednesday, Aug. 14, 2002
itchy nipples and meetings with BWFH Ooo, my itchy nipple idea is popular. I got this in my email: If my post-modern post-punk progressive Goth-rock concept album ever comes to fruition, I shall name it Itchy Nipple, maybe people would think it was an explanation as to why I would make Listener1: What the crap is this crap? Listener2: Well, it is titled itchy nipple, I get a little weird when my nipples are itchy too. Listener1: Are they itchy now? Because this conversation just got weird. I wonder if I get any kind of royalties for thinking up the name? Let�s see what else happened... *pretends to think* oh yeah! We had a meeting with home care. Now if you have been reading my diary at all, I�m sure you can guess how it went. No it didn't go well, stop guessing wrong! *ahem* anyway. We got this new supervisor for home care because the last one sucked. We had been complaining about this home health aid that said something really inappropriate to me and has been very rude to my family. So we wanted to know what we could do about her. Also, we are changing lift machine thingers and we wanted home care to approve it so the home health aids could use it. Let�s see what happened shall we. First of all, this supervisor said that she was bringing someone to this meeting and that we should bring someone so that we'd have "witnesses". Ostensibly, impartial judges of what went on at the meeting. It was apparent very soon into the meeting that this supervisor had already decided everything and wasn't going to listen to us. Beginning with the lift. She said that she would not approve this new one that we had purchased with funding. Her reasons were ridiculous (I�ll not go into everything because we could be here all day). She said she had done research on it and that's where she got her reasons. I asked her, what research had she done. She wouldn't tell me at first so I said "well, did you watch the video about it, did you talk the company, did you look at their website, have you talked to anyone who owns one?" She said no, she had only talked to the one occupational therapist that had no experience with them and observed me using it. I refuted some of her reasons and she said well these things were observed so the fact that I had not experienced these problems when using it was obviously not relevant. She wants us to use the sling, which I hate. We pointed out the problems we have with using the sling. She suggested that I cut down the back seam of all my pants and put in Velcro so they can get my pants off while I�m in the wheelchair. We rather vetoed this idea. For one, I have some nice clothes and I�m not going to cut them up. For another, it would look stupid and it would be uncomfortable. We said we would use this new lift and she could take her sling and shove it. My mom has to be here anyway and the home health aids wouldn't have to touch it. This took almost an hour to get across to her. The second issue was complaints about my mother and things that go on in this house. One problem was that the home health aid we complained about had accused my mother of verbal abusing her. *cough*BULLSHIT*cough* we have never been anything but nice to this person. However, apparently, if she perceived verbal abuse, it happened. That�s such utter crap. Especially since there was more than just us around to witness this "verbal abuse". Anyway so we went around around and around on that one. They said that we had to have her come in or they would cut services. Even if this home health aid herself decides she doesn't want to come into our home, we don't get home care for the times she is supposed to come in. *splutter* we are being punished because this woman is a bitch and after we complained about her twice she decided to cry verbal abuse. We actually have talked to someone since the meeting and she has said that it's illegal for them to cut service for that reason. I love scare tactics. So anyway, we said, fine send her in then. We won't try to be nice or rude, just sort of be neutral and not say much. Well that apparently is a bad way to resolve conflict. We couldn't win. Another complaint they have is that home health aids find things inconsistent here. I said well yes, everyone does things a bit different and there are some little extras that some people do and some people don't do. Immediately we had to haul out the care plan and go over what things weren't written down and all the "little extras". Ha! I got them on this one, I said, "well the fact that they fill up my water bottle isn't written down and some of the home health aids don't mind putting lotion on my feet or fetching the cats." She looked disappointed until she got the bright idea of asking of the home health aids were "required" to lift (*gasp*!! not lifting!!) the cats onto the bed. I said no, if they did, it was because they wanted to and I usually just shake a bag of treats to call them over anyway. So now we are back to the complaints against my mom. She won't tell us who has complained or what on earth we said that was bad. By this time my mom is getting angry. Basically this person has come in and has her opinions all set. She won't listen to us, won't concede any points we have made and apparently knows everything there is to know about everything. My mom raises her voice; this is now making this woman, this manager and administrator who is supposed to deal with conflict well, anxious and uncomfortable. My mom is now verbally abusing her, but she isn't going to report it because of her generous nature. Basically she baited my mom into getting angry, pushing and needling all the way. At the end she was agreeing to humor my mother and had this condescending look that I wanted to wipe off her face with a fireplace poker. Preferably one that has been in the fire for quite some time. Mom decides to end this meeting because we are getting nowhere at all. They won't get rid of the woman that we have complained about and has complained about us. This bitch woman from hell cannot imagine if she would want someone they were uncomfortable with take care of her. The woman she brought with her was actually a nice woman and I had met her before. Anytime she tried to say something though, this bitch woman from hell (BWFH) interrupted her and wouldn't let her speak. At the end of the meeting she the absolute GALL to ask my mother if she was seeing a social worker. My mother told her to stay the hell out of her private life thank you very much. My mom's friend who was there, who has taken care of me at Parkridge, and when I was living at the hospital and has known me since I was nine years old, was appalled. She could not believe how shitty this BWFH had treated my mother and I. How she didn't listen, how she could imagine everything and knew everything except when we asked her a direct question. She would never answer a question we asked and spun them like a politician. It was terrible, awful and it got to a point where it would have been silly if it weren�t so serious. My mom is now afraid that they will start cutting services. This will of course, not end here. We tried to end it by saying, ok send the woman in, we will just treat her like anyone else and forget what has happened. That wasn't good enough. BWFH also got what she wanted from my mother, which was to make her mad and prove that she is a verbally abusive woman. My mom is torn up that now she is the bad person in all this, when she knows she isn't. In the 12 years that we have had home care we have NEVER had a problem, we have NEVER complained. This is the first time we have ever asked the favor that a home health aid does not take care of me anymore. Apparently this record counts for nothing and that everyone else in this city can work out any kind of problem with an amicable solution. Nobody is EVER verbally abused and all clients are nice and sunshine. BULL FUCKING SHIT. The home health aids themselves will tell you that. This woman lives on her own little planet, in her own little office and apparently had no idea what it is like to deal with the public. Today I plan to call the other woman who was at the meeting, since she also works with home care, to get her idea of how the meeting went. This home health aid we don't like is scheduled to come in very soon. My life is so fun I can hardly stand it Book: The Star Scroll Melanie Rawn
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This is my blogchalk:
Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.