2:24 p.m. | Wednesday, Jan. 22, 2003

a bunch of rambly stuff

Well I got my monthly google for nazi torture pictures. I�m really excited about the type of person who would be looking for that. I got 4 msn searches for itchy nipple yesterday, which made up for the nazi thing.

Last night I was thinking of things I could write in my diary. I thought I should describe the way my room looks because I spend most of my time in here. I still might do it, but it seems like a boring idea here in the light of day.

I realize I�m not as funny as I could be because I hardly ever have contact with the public. People who have fairly funny diaries talk about work, people they talk to throughout the day and relationships. I seem to have a lack of these things. Maybe I could just make up stuff. I mention this because the funny people seem to have the most people that love their diaries. Nobody wants to hear about depressing angst and the crappiness of life all the time. Go figure.

I honestly think that if you are going to take the step of going to school in a different country you should have some independence of mind going for you. I mention this because yesterday the student we have living with us showed complete and utter stupidity (though I think it may have been an isolated incident, I hope). She forgot her key, went to her cousin's and phoned here. She had a driving lesson that she was to be picked up for here and for some reason being locked out of the house made her unable to wait the five minutes for him to show up. She phoned here and asked when my mom would be home and I think she expected to be taken care of somehow. I talked to her and frankly it was totally pissed off. She acted like a helpless child and I really hate when adults do that. She might be only 20 but still. I think the fact that she is small in stature with a very small voice might encourage people to take care of her. I�m not sure if girls in china are coddled or not. I don't see much of the student personally, probably because I don't leave my room a lot. I don't know if she's normally like this, mom seems to think that she's fairly ok most of the time. She is willing to eat more of the same foods we do, much more so than the previous male students. It could be just that her voice annoys me, it's very singsong, which seems condescending to me.

I�ve been annoyed easily lately anyway. My sister must be too because she agreed with me that the whole incident was incredibly stupid. She has midterms right now though so she could be set off by just about anything. For example last night my mom and her had a fight. My sister left and then my mom left and I felt rather bereft being left at home. Everyone else got to storm off to do whatever and I�m left home alone to be bored and lonely and I did even DO anything. At least that was the way I felt at the time. I felt like just sitting and crying. It was just one of those days.

Last night I asked mom about the people that offered to buy me a place to live. Mom said that I shouldn't get my hopes up at all. Apparently there has been trouble with the business deal or something. They haven't even moved into the house that they bought yet (it was a show home which delayed things and I guess it's delayed again), nor have they been paid. I have no idea what this means since I didn't really understand the business in the first place. I do know it means I won't be moving out of my parents place anytime soon. I was thinking about it again and how nice it would be to have my own place. I know that I would have much more freedom and responsibility, which would be good for me. Also I think that I could have my own company over more. Not that I have a lot of friends, but my sister and Morrison know that when they come here to see me that they will end up talking with my parents (especially my mother) as well. There is a lack of privacy there. The other night when I had a girl over that I met on yahoo she ended up talking as much to my mom as to me. Granted she needed directions but my mom has a way of monopolizing a conversation completely. She has a much louder voice than I do for one and for another she likes talking and meeting people. It�s hard for me to have people just for myself that way. The problem is I can't tell her to butt out or go away seeing as it is her house. I envy my sister having her own house, I really do.

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Female/26-30. Lives in Canada/Saskatchewan/Saskatoon/, speaks English and  . Spends 60% of daytime online. Uses a Fast (128k-512k) connection. And likes Reading.
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Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.