4:28 p.m. | Saturday, Feb. 22, 2003 just put me out of my misery Last night I had an Intimate Attitudes party which is basically a sex toy party, though they do sell things like massage oil and shower gel. It was fairly fun and a modest success. The people I really wanted to come didn't and unfortunately my mom and her friend were bored. I think I might try again a few months with a different person doing the presentation. Then the people I wanted to have come might be able to and my sister and I might be better organized. I did get 25% off an item for hosting so I got myself a nice new toy. I�m feeling more and more like a burden lately and to everyone around me. The only people I don't feel like that with are my sister and her boyfriend really and that's because they have no responsibility for me. My mom relies on Morrison to be around when they go out, for when he's normally around. If he decides not to come over or something happens then my parent's plans would be ruined. He resents being relied on and I don't blame him. There is nobody else, it falls to him to have to make the "mature" choice or look like the bad guy. It�s not fair to him, I don't think it's fair to me because I have a feeling this won't be good for our friendship. This morning I asked to sleep in and it was okayed by the parentals. However when I got up mom yelled at me and was angry because of the extra work it causes her to help get me up and ready. I don't want her to vent at me for causing her extra work. I don't want to be told that she does everything for me, and I certainly don't want to hear that me being tired is less important than her being tired because I don't do anything really and therefore my being tired doesn't affect much. It made me cry. She said she still loves me but honestly it just makes me want to die. I can't stand not being able to do things for myself and causing extra work for people. I hate being resented and I hate being the burden that people can't get rid of. Previous | Next

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Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.