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5:47 p.m. | Thursday, Apr. 03, 2003
the secret is out Today we have blizzard conditions and the RCMP has advised people not to travel on the highway. This is not the way April is supposed to be. Luckily I have no reason to go outside and it's supposed to warm up by next week. Two people I know have been in an accident today though. Both very minor but still, winter driving was supposed to be over. My mom's youngest sister is in town, which reminds me that I have to get her daughter a gift for her birthday. I asked what she wanted and apparently she's at the age where she is starting to like make-up so I think I�ll put together a package of Avon products. Her daughter is my goddaughter, which makes me feel a little bit awkward because I don't believe in god anymore. Hopefully I�m not asked any religious questions by anyone. Is anyone else tired of watching war coverage? I can't take it anymore to be honest. It's too much to watch the same things going on every day, with more people dead and more bombs dropped. I usually check the news online at least once a day to see if anything spectacularly bad or good has happened and that's about it. Trinity has sent a care package to a few soldiers that are in the Middle East right now and graciously offered to put my name on the package. I also have the address of one of the soldiers we sent a package too so I can write him a letter. I'm not quite sure what to say to him, but I hope he appreciates the correspondence. I don't really have an opinion for or against the war; however, I think that the troops at least deserve support and caring from those of us not directly involved in the conflict. Something like that. Last night I called Morrison. I'm not even sure why I did exactly except for some reason I was pretty sure he'd be awake at that hour (I think it was about 1:30am or something). To make a long story short I told him that I loved him. I had been thinking about this for a long time, whether I did or not. I obviously came to the conclusion that I did and I wanted to write about it in my diary. What do you do when you are in love with someone who doesn't love you back? Morrison reads this diary though and I thought it was only fair that he be the first to know and not find out through my diary. I had been hiding it for a while and had fibbed a bit to him about it and hinted around it. When I said it (because I knew I could never do it face to face) it was surprisingly easy and I did get a good response. He said he was happy that I felt that way but he didn't feel the same way back. I didn't ask for anything else from the relationship than we already have, it is the way it is. I like it the way it is, we have fun together and we aren't too serious that things are complicated. I know that love isn't enough to carry a relationship through everything; I found that out the hard way. I�m content with the way things are. I can't say I wouldn't be happier if he loved me back. I also can't say what will happen in the future, my future is so uncertain that I wouldn't want to ask for a major commitment anyway. I know he won't use my feelings against me and that he cares about me a great deal, we also have great chemistry and passion for each other. To me, it's a good relationship. That's all that matters.
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This is my blogchalk:
Canada, Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, , English, , Female, 26-30, Reading.